The First Visitation
So even though I’ve been divorced since the end of January, I haven’t
had to deal with visitation due to H-er’s panic attacks. But eventually he got his head on straight
and was ready to commit to being a parent.
So I drove to the half way point (5 hours) on Oct 1. Well really we went the night before and
stayed at my sister’s. But I told H-er
he could come get them on Saturday as early as he wanted.
H-er doesn’t get up before 11am.
He left around 2pm (gained an hour).
He wanted to know if I could meet him directly off of the freeway rather
than at my sister’s house. I figured I’d
be accommodating. I was curious how he would handle the drive down alone. I was usually the one who went to get An
Heritage #1 because he said he didn’t like to have to face his ex. If he did go then one of the kids had to go
with him because he just couldn’t be alone.
There was one time our stake was having a special fireside for women and
a guy in the ward finally offered to drive with him so that I could go to the
meeting with his wife.
So they arrived and we met in the Lowe’s parking lot. I had a trunk full of his stuff and it
clearly flustered him. He piled it all
in the back of his car and at one point I asked if I could repack it for me (I
hate wasted space and it was blocking his view out the back). He didn’t respond and I forced myself to stay
silent because I’m not married to him and if he wants to have stuff shifting
around then that’s his problem.
Then I hugged the boys and they drove off. Immediately I teared up. I cried off and on back to my sister’s house
(30 minute drive) and on the way I got a text from An Heritage #3. “we are
meeting Jolene or however you spell it”.
(meaning they were picking her up wherever H-her had stashed her on the
way down).
Jolene is the woman he was having an affair with. The woman he described as psycho who slept
with his friends as well. The woman that
another woman tried to warn him about – to stay far away from her--who
apparently isn’t divorced from her husband yet but was engaged to someone else
(while she was married) who died. The
woman who messaged my daughter on facebook – that’s how I found out about her--who
called me (while we were still married) to apologize and asked if we could go
to coffee sometime (when H-er broke up with her the first time). She sounds like a gem doesn’t she?
H-er had told me that he finally broke it off with her and was dating
other people. I thought she was in the
rear-view mirror. Apparently not. And now my boys get to be a part of her
life. Since I was at my sister’s I was
able to distract myself from the trauma of it all until bedtime. Then once I went to bed and it was quiet I
broke down and just sobbed.
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