Cold

Shock

I can't stop shaking and I can't get warm. 

This is what happens to me when I discover anything new about H-er.

H-er accidentally sent me an email from one of his former lovers (instead of the insurance card) proving he is still in contact with her.  I called his second cell phone that he supposedly sold and he answered.   And then the next day his current mistress posted pictures showing that they are still together. 

But I am okay.  Because I required him to stay somewhere else for his visits for the holidays (though he is welcome at the house during the days).  I maintained my boundaries regarding intimacy. I reached out rather than isolating and shared my feelings.   And I faced the hurt and betrayal rather than hiding behind anger. 

But I still felt the physical shock of it.  I still had to put on two pairs of socks, my sweats, a robe, and shiver under two blankets for 30 minutes before I got warm.