Disrespected

"Where are you now?"

He'd been checking on my progress all afternoon so he knew how close I was.  Yet when I arrived after an 11 hour drive he was barely in the shower.  

And just like that I was triggered.

He is never ready on time.  Our first Sunday as a married couple I got ready for church.  He started getting ready but got distracted by one of our wedding gifts.  He decided to fill the oil lamps instead of getting ready.  We were late.

I would call and tell him what time we needed to leave to make it to a concert for our child.  He would not be ready.  We would be late.

I would wake him up for church and he'd lay in bed and then finally get in the shower ten minutes before it was time to go.  We'd be late.

He would call me at work and ask me out on a date. I'd get home from work and he wouldn't have showered yet. It would be time to go and he needed to just look something up on eBay.  Send a quick email.  I'd have to sit around and wait for him.  We'd be late.

"I'll get help this time.  I'll go to a counselor this time. I'll be faithful this time." 

Day after day.  Year after year. This continual disrespect. As if I'll always be there.  Waiting.