Jubilant

Boundaries are hard. 

Particularly boundaries with myself.

9:30 on a Saturday night and she wants to take the car to go to an auto show with her friends. (And she has to be the one to drive because none of her friends have cars but she can't tell me where the auto show is or what it's called).

I tell her she cannot use the car.

She begins to argue that she has a job and I said she could use the car if she has a job and that she is obeying curfew. 

I respond that she can use the car for work and doctors appointments.

She continues to argue with things like "why don't you trust me? You said I could hang out with my friends.  Why aren't you letting me? I came in and asked you nicely".

I managed to stay calm and not get roped into an argument and keep the focus on her request to use the car.   "Just because you ask for something nicely doesn't mean you will get everything you want".  Is this not a true lesson? 

"Then I'll just longboard over".

And even though it kills me "ok.  Your longboard is in the garage"

Because she is an adult and no matter what I think of her friends she has the right to hang out with them.   That's not the issue here.  The issue is that she tried to get her way with circular manipulative arguments about me not keeping my word.   And I recognized them and didn't get distracted and the situation didn't escalate. And there is my boundary. I can't try to control her.  Tonight I won the battle with myself. And as she leaves I smile at her and say "I love you" and she gives me a hug.