Betrayed

"An Heritage #2 is missing"

A mother's nightmare.  She was finally old enough that I felt okay leaving her with a babysitter--our 14 year old nephew.  Especially because she was already asleep for the night.  I had been invited to go to a Michael McLean concert and H-er wanted to go put together a bike at his dad's house.  So I had my nephew babysit.

But now, somehow she'd woken up and opened the front door and was gone and he didn't know for how long.

As we left the concert and raced home I called the police.  They had her!  A kind lady had seen her on the railroad tracks, grabbed her, and called the police.  Our apartment was right next to the tracks.  From our balcony you could reach out and touch the train with a broom if you wanted to.  That's how close we were.

My friend drove me to the police station-just in time.  It was late enough that they were just about to take her to a foster home for the night.  There she was in her Tshirt and diaper.  They had put on a pair of long pink socks to keep her legs warm, given her m&ms and Raman, and found a Humpty Dumpty stuffed doll for her.  She wasn't old enough to tell them her name so they called her the railroad tracks baby. 

I suffered through the social workers visit three days later and showed her the new lock at the top of the door.  I showed her how she could barely reach the doorknob.  That only a week before she couldn't reach it at all.  Everyone agreed there was no negligence.

That weekend my uncle came to visit and as we sat talking he glanced out the sliding glass door when he heard the train whistle. "Oh no.  There's a dog on the tracks".

And we all turned and watched as a train hit the dog. 

Later when I questioned how my nephew didn't notice that she woke up and wandered out and opened the front door, I found out he was in the back room on the computer looking at porn.

 

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Many times I have considered divorcing H-er.   Each time I’d make my list or pros and cons and one of the biggest cons was that I didn’t know who my children would be exposed to when they were with H-er or his family.  He had finally revealed that he had been molested by family members.   The types of women he consorted with were scary.  His sisters used drugs and people were in and out of their houses that were scary.  At least married I could control who my children came in contact with and limit the chances that they would be molested.  I was determined to break the cycle with my kids.  I was determined to protect them.

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On our third date H-er took me to meet his family.  We spent a lot of time visiting his mom and two of his sister’s.  This was another thing that drew me to him.  Family was important to him.   So when he told me that his 14 year old nephew was being kicked out of his mom’s house because she “couldn’t deal with him” he asked if we could take him in.  He wasn’t doing anything terrible.  She just wasn’t getting along with him.

He lived with us for about six months and he seemed like a good kid.  He did the chores assigned to him.  He went to scouts.   He was pretty quiet.   And we had a built in babysitter though we didn’t use him often.   But he wasn’t really with us long before he went back to live with his mom.

It wasn’t until years later when he was married and had his own daughter that his conscience got to him.  He called H-er and confessed that he had molested An Heritage #2 because he was mad at H-er for some reason or other.  He felt horrible about it especially when he looked at his own daughter.   

Later still, I listened in horror as there were more disclosures revealing molestation that involved my children.  And then that night as I lay in by bed, I screamed and cursed God for allowing this to happen.  And I cried and cried because I was the one who let a 14 year old wolf into my house.  I failed to break the cycle.  I failed my children.