Grief

Grief.

So much grief. 

When I do my trauma therapy I always end up crying.  A few times the grief is so overwhelming that it shuts me down.  I have to concentrate not to let it take over the fighting or the running.

"Why are you so emotional" An Heritage #2 asks as tears stream down my face.  It's fast and testimony meeting and I'm reflecting that my daughter is here sitting next to me at church and not dead.  Of course I'm emotional. 

I'm divorcing my husband.  Of course I'm emotional.

I'm working the 4th step.  Of course I'm emotional.

I can't call my mom because she is dead.  Of course I'm emotional. 

Revelations 21:4  "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away."

But it is not that last day yet. And in the meantime I am just beginning to grieve the losses that come with divorce.  I know there will be many.